LAOTN Tour (Southern Leg) : Arrived in Lima, Peru…

Yesterday did not start so well. My sleep was rather erratic, so I woke up in a bad mood. The taxi ride to the airport in Chile took a long time because of the traffic, but I had allowed plenty of time, so I still got to the airport with 2 hours to spare. For some reason I was not able to use the check-in machines, so I had to wait in a very long, very slow moving queue. That in itself was annoying, but more annoying was there seemed to be lots of staff at the counters just chatting, rather than dealing with the people in the queue. Airports are annoying at the best of times, but this sort of thing makes my blood boil.

After getting checked in, it was time to go through immigration control. Once again a long queue. This time there were two people processing the queue. One seemed reasonably efficient, but the other guy looked like he was chatting to people as they went through. One family went through his desk and he stamped the passports, then chatted to them for about 10 minutes. They appeared to be laughing and joking. It was now time for my plane to board and I was practically volcanic.

I got through security and rushed to my gate. The wrong plane was there. I checked the boards and they still said my plane was meant to be there. After a bit of panic, I realised the previous plane at that gate had not taken off yet. Rather than updating the departures board to say there was a delay, they just kept the same information on them, relying on the fact you would work it out. I was now on the verge of supernova.

We finally boarded the plane and I sat down in the smallest seat known to mankind. Everyone had brought on too many pieces of hand luggage, meaning I had to leave my laptop half way down the plane from where I was sitting. Why don’t they just enforce the rules? They say one piece of hand luggage, then let everyone on with three, plus coats and handbags and a baby with a pushchair, then try to ram everything into the overhead compartments. It’s never going to work and it’s likely to break sensitive electronic goods in the process. All the mass in the universe had now compacted into an infinitesimally small space and I was at the smallest fraction of a second before the big bang took place…

Just before I had a complete temper tantrum, the staff on the plane disarmed me by being really nice. That was very lucky, or I would probably have missed this leg of the trip while cooling down in jail…

The flight was pretty uneventful, apart from the snoring of the guy sitting next to me.

I arrived in Peru, and got a taxi to the hotel. This taxi ride will probably be one of the highlights of the tour. My taxi driver was a robo-babe from beyond infinity.  She cranked up the radio in the car, playing a rock station, then proceeded to drive like she was being chased by the devil. At one point about eight lanes merged into 2 and she beat down lorry drivers and bus drivers like they were little grannies on push-bikes. Driving in Peru seems to be based totally on commitment. If you drive like you don’t want to live, you get priority. This woman was immortal, so we were bound to come out on top. After a little over an hour, we arrived at my hotel without so much as a scratch. I think I should have been scared, but I felt like a little kid saying, “Do it again!” She really should be the star of the next Fast & Furious movie!

So all in all, a very good end to an extremely frustrating day…

I slept OK, but I’ve still got some catching up to do, so I hope I don’t spend the whole day yawning. I’m just about to go down and register for today’s conference. Wish me luck!

Cheers

Tim…

 

LAOTN Tour (Southern Leg) : CLOUG…

As you will have gathered by now, the first event of the southern leg of the LAOTN Tour was Chilean Oracle User Group (CLOUG) in Santiago, Chile.

After the initial keynote, the main room became the Michelle Malcher and Tim Hall roadshow. We both picked up extra sessions to fill the gaps left by Jonathan Lewis‘ absence, so we were like a tag team, alternating throughout the day. 🙂 As a result, the conference seemed to go really quickly for me.

In addition to doing the presentations, I got to speak to a few people in the breaks, which is always one of the nice things about conferences. You have to admire people’s endurance, spending most of the day listening to presentations in their second language (or via a live translation service) and still wanting to speak to you in the breaks.

In the evening we went out for some food with the conference organisers. Being a vegetarian who doesn’t drink is not the most natural fit for socialising in Chile, but it makes for good comedy value. 🙂 We had a really fun evening.

Big thanks to the organisers of the conference for inviting me and a big thank you to the Oracle ACE Director program for getting me here.

So that’s the first event over. Later today I fly to Lima, Peru.

Cheers

Tim…

LAOTN Tour (Southern Leg) : Arrived in Santiago, Chile…

I’m now in the hotel in Santiago, Chile.

The flights were fine. I landed in Paris with just enough time to walk to the departure gate and board my next flight. The Air France boarding was a bit chaotic, and once again there was no vegetarian food. With many airlines, booking a special meal seems to be very hit or miss. It’s not like I’m going to starve though, so never mind. 🙂

For some reason, unknown to me, I got a Business Class flight out, so the 14.5 hour flight from Paris to Santiago wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. I’m cattle-class for the rest of the flights, including the 11+ hour flight home from Sao Paulo.

The weather in Santiago is more like the UK weather than the UK is at the moment. I arrived to about 10 degrees and fog. I was walking round in a t-shirt an it felt nice after the last couple of weeks at home. I’m not great with the heat. 🙂

Unfortunately, Jonathan Lewis has had to cancel his trip due to a problem with his ear, that’s prevented him from flying, so I’ve got an extra session tomorrow to fill in one of the gaps. Hopefully, he’ll be doing some web sessions later in the tour.

I think I’m going to run through my talks now, hit the gym and try to get some sleep before the tour begins in earnest tomorrow.

Cheers

Tim…

LAOTN Tour (Southern Leg) Preparation Complete…

Tomorrow is going to be a very tough day. I’ve got work as normal, including one of my fortnightly Tuesday presentations. From work I dash home, get changed, pick up my stuff and it’s off to the airport. I get a quick flight to Paris, then it’s a 14.5 hour flight to Santiago, Chile. That’s the starting point for the southern leg of the LAOTN tour this year. I can only hope I break the habit of a lifetime and actually get some sleep on the plane. If not I’m going to be like Day of the Dead when I get there.

I went out at the weekend and bought a load of cheap polo shirts, so I’m going to look pretty much identical on every day of the tour. 🙂 When I was in Bulgaria, Tom Kyte gave me some packing advice, involving rolling stuff up to reduce creases, so I’m not packing a travel iron. I’ve just finished my packing using that method, so if I look like a bag of creases on this tour I will be giving him a kicking at OOW2013. 🙂

The weather forecast looks a bit cooler than it was on last year’s northern leg, but the humidity is high, so even though I’ve packed more than enough stuff to get through the whole trip I’m sure I will get half way through and need to hit the hotel laundry service.

I’m now feeling totally wired. Five countries in 10 days, with very long flights at the start and end is quite a daunting prospect. I know I’m going to enjoy it, but I’m feeling a little nervous/scared at the moment. I’m sure when I get on to the Santiago flight I’ll chill out, but until then I’m just going to be panicking about what I’ve forgotten to pack and about my connection in Paris…

Cheers

Tim…

BGOUG Spring 2013…

On Thursday I’ll be flying out to Bulgaria for BGOUG Spring 2013. It’s been about 18 months since I’ve visited the people over there, so I’m really looking forward to getting stuck in.

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This will be my first conference of the year, so I’m feeling a little nervous at the moment. I’m sure the adrenalin rush will kick in and get me through. 🙂

I’m signed up for the southern leg of the OTN Tour of Latin America (Chile, Peru, Uruguay, Argentina, Brazil), but it will be a while before I get any confirmation, so there are no guarantees yet.

Fun, fun, fun…

Cheers

Tim…