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Just WALK IN and buy an Apple Watch. Are you mad? -

Follow these few simple steps, and wait a while

Apple has slapped some restrictions on early-bird madcap punters who want to part with hard-earned cash for a fancy wrist-job – they must shop only on white unicorns, bring virgin £50 notes and rap their order.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 10:29:10 GMT)

Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder -

Hey, Nest Thermostats! ‘Spring forward, Fall back’

British consumers awoke to cold houses this morning as Nest “Learning” Thermostats failed to accommodate the switch to British Summer Time.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 09:58:09 GMT)

Huawei networking kit gets the green light from Blighty's spooks -

All above board, concludes board

A board put together to double-check the work of a British government team set up to investigate Huawei has given the Chinese giant a clean bill of health.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 09:28:06 GMT)

Apple's 13-incher will STILL cost you a bomb: MacBook Air 2015 -

It may pine for the fjörds, but it's not snuffed it yet

Review Well, it looks as though the writing is on the wall for the MacBook Air. It’s still one of the slimmest and lightest laptops around, with impressive 10-12 hour battery life. But that 1440x900 resolution is dead in the water these days – especially at Apple price levels – while the chunky metal bezel around the screen is the tech equivalent of those huge shoulderpads that Dame Joan Collins used to wear on Dynasty back in the 1980s.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 09:04:12 GMT)

Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills -

Institute of Directors warns against giganto cock-up

A report from the Institute of Directors (IoD) warns that the government's rollout of smart meters “should be 'halted, altered or scrapped' to avoid a potentially catastrophic government IT disaster.”…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 08:38:09 GMT)

David Cameron's Passport number emailed to footy-head -

Outlook autocomplete SNAFU sees world leaders' particulars leaked during G20 summit

Last week, Australia passed mandatory metadata retention laws, over objections that personal data should only be accessible by a very small number of people under very secure circumstances because it is is bound to leak and cause embarrassment.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 08:22:03 GMT)

Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge in Vulture's claws: we find looks AND brains -

S6 Edge cuts corners in the best possible way

FIRST LOOK Samsung's gone for beauty and brains with its new Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge, but hasn't fallen into the trap of style over substance.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 08:02:05 GMT)

Insight's EMEA prez: It's not our fault cloud sales are slow, blame the NSA -

Firms' fluffy white services payoff is due in 2016, adds gros fromage

Services investments made by box-peddling shape shifter Insight Enterprises will start to pay dividends in Europe from next year, regional head honcho Wolgang Eberman has predicted.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 07:57:07 GMT)

Unlimited stolen Uber accounts flogged for $5 -

Accounts 100 percent valid, fraudsters claim

Fraudsters are flogging an 'unlimited' number of stolen Uber accounts containing personal details and limited credit card data for less than $5.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 07:28:03 GMT)

Starry-eyed hackers stuff Eurovision's voting app -

It's only rock and roll but hackers like it

The Eurovision Song Contest has been targeted by obsessed hackers who stuffed the voting ballots during the final qualifier song performance.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 06:28:09 GMT)

UN inflicts 10,000 flat pack IKEA shelters on Iraq - WITHOUT TOOLS -

Haven't those poor souls suffered enough, you fiends?

The United Nations Refugee Agency (UNHCR) has placed an order for 10,000 flat-pack IKEA refugee shelters.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 05:57:07 GMT)

EMC and Cloudera withdraw from Indiana big data event -

Execs issue weekend Tweets objecting to religious freedom law

The technology industry's objections to the US State of Indiana's new Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which permits businesses to decline to serve people on the basis of sexuality or other traits, have deepened after EMC and Cloudera cancelled their presence at a forthcoming conference.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 05:29:08 GMT)

Jailed Brit con phishes prison, gets bail -

'Hi this is < name > please release < prisoner >'

A convicted British fraudster used a fake website and fake identities to trick prison officers into releasing him.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 04:56:04 GMT)

Short circuit at Large Hadron Collider slows return to matter-mauling -

CERN boffins hope high-pressure helium will chill out their problems

The eager Igors of CERN are going to have to wait a little longer before they try to destroy the universe: it turns out that the upgraded Large Hadron Collider (LHC) has a short circuit in one of its dipole circuits.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 03:58:04 GMT)

Atomic clocks' tics tamed by 3,000 entangled atoms -

Boffins break record for entanglement with mirrors and lasers

MIT and University of Belgrade boffins have taken a big step in applying the quantum property of entanglement to macro systems: they're claiming to have roped together more than 2,900 rubidium atoms with a single photon.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 01:58:03 GMT)

Apple is like HITLER says Chinese billionaire -

Android, however, is a beacon of freedom and openness

One of the ways Chinese kids like to pass their time is watching video on a site called Leshi TV that's sufficiently popular the company's CEO Jia Yueting is ranked among the planet's billionaires.…

(Mon, 30 Mar 2015 01:04:24 GMT)

Accedian goes hybrid NFV in carrier QoS product -

Virtualises CPE to cut deployment cost

Rather than pull out all the stops on network function virtualisation (NFV), telcos would like to stage their implementations one piece at a time, according to Canadian vendor Accedian Networks.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 23:52:15 GMT)

Opportunity suffers another flash-memory 'amnesia' moment -

Rover's didn't lose data, Mars boffins 'disappointed' but not surprised at memory glitch

A flash memory reformat left NASA's Mars rover Opportunity with a brief episode of what the agency calls “amnesia” – thankfully, without any loss of scientific data.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 23:05:28 GMT)

AWS flicks switch for cloud storage replication -

Double the redundancy, double the bills

Amazon Web Services (AWS) has done something rather useful to its simple storage service (S3), namely making it possible to replicate data across regions.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 22:32:38 GMT)

Affirmative wrist action: Pebble Time raises 20 MEELLION BUCKS on Kickstarter -

78k backers chuck tons of cash at colour-screen smartwatch

Startup Pebble Time – which, we're told, plans to start shipping its wrist-puter in May – raised more than $20m during a month-long Kickstarter campaign.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 19:09:39 GMT)

Frayed British Airways plays down mega hack attack on frequent flyer accounts -

In-a-pickle firm insists personal info is safe after breach

Wrongdoers have hacked into tens of thousands of British Airways' frequent flyer accounts, however the travel giant claimed on Sunday that no personal information had been swiped.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 18:16:56 GMT)

Dino-boffins discover ancient, TOOTHY-CLAWED, four-eyed MONSTER LOBSTER -

508 million-year-old predator unearthed

Scientists have revealed a terrifying-sounding new species of lobster-like marine creature that pre-dates the first living dinosaur by 250 million years.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 14:09:15 GMT)

Yahoo! and! Microsoft! extend! tricky! search! deal! talks! by! 30! days! -

Can Redmond and the Purple Palace continue to hang tough?

Microsoft and Yahoo! have extended discussions about whether to remain wedded to a decade-long and at times stormy search deal that was first struck in 2009.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 12:30:03 GMT)

'If people can encrypt their cell phones, what's stopping them encrypting their PCs?' -

Plus: Tim Cook is the pebble in the pond

QuoTW This week NASA showed off its plans to lasso an asteroid, researchers mourned over a bug-riddled Chrome browser, and RSA banned buxom booth babes.

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 12:00:03 GMT)

Google turns creepy, predictive search tech up to 11 in Chrome OS beta -

Launcher 2.0 to be released within days

Google's Chromebooks are about to undergo an overhaul that puts the Chocolate Factory's creepy, predictive search tech – Google Now – at the heart of the firm's OS.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 11:30:09 GMT)

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults -

Hey, you guys! This one's a 1980s' truffle shuffle just for the kids

Film Review Robot Overlords is an old-school kids’ movie, with none of the surreptitious nods to the dragged along adult audiences that we’ve become accustomed to, just friendly, under-13s fun.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 11:00:12 GMT)

Coral Reefs: Secret Cities of the Sea exhibition – life beneath the waves -

Take a dive at the Natural History Museum

Review There's an undeniable fascination to coral reefs and the creatures that inhabit them, whether it's tales of shipwreck on tropical islands surrounded by a lagoon, romantic snorkelling adventures, or captivating documentaries about the Great Barrier Reef.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 10:00:04 GMT)

Honda CR-V: SUV-lite that’s also light on the pocket -

Works well on tarmac – just remember to keep it there

Vulture at the Wheel This wasn't the car I was expecting. If I’d been paying attention I would have known that the new twin-turbo, 9-speed auto, 4WD 1.6L diesel turbo CR-V isn’t on the UK press fleet yet. What rolled up outside Vulture Central was the decidedly white-bread 2WD i-DTEC single-turbo 1.6L diesel.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 09:00:03 GMT)

Building a better society from the Czechs' version of Meccano -

And a tale of international intellectual property piracy

Worstall @ the Weekend To move a little off the normal sort of subject around here, something from an exhibition just around the corner here in Usti nad Labem in the Czech Republic. The lads I hang out with here are 40ish professionals and they were terribly excited about an exhibition being put on of “Merkur”.…

(Sun, 29 Mar 2015 08:00:10 GMT)

Microsoft's Windows 10 build list snowballs for Lumia mobes -

WARNING: Coders are still stitching together partition stitching code

Microsoft has tentatively opened up its Windows 10 Technical Preview to more phones, after its initial list back in February had been extremely limited.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 19:48:18 GMT)

Easy come, easy go: Euro astroboffins blast brace of Galileo sats INTO SPAAACE -

Look up to the skies and see

The European Space Agency has successfully launched two new satellites into orbit as part of the Galileo project to offer EU citizens an alternative GPS system from late 2016.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 15:52:52 GMT)

$23m to a WordPress biz? Why top-end hosting is big money -

VC North Bridge explains its investment

Analysis Website hosting may not be the first thing you consider when looking at tech industry growth, but venture capitalists North Bridge are betting different.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 14:02:08 GMT)

Exercising with chocolate: Festival and tours galore -

Gorge your way to fitness this weekend

Chocolate and exercise together, whatever next? Well, for the chocoholics and general lovers of cacao based products, there are various chocolate tours springing up at various locations around the country including Edinburgh, Oxford and one taking place in London this weekend.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 12:20:55 GMT)

Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana -

But why should we care what rich execs think?

Analysis Two high-profile tech CEOs – Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Mark Benioff – have publicly criticized a new Indiana law that legalizes discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 11:01:12 GMT)

Street Culture: Reg man's snazzy snaps of punky London go on display -

Captures capital's sharp, stylish side from 1976 to 1988

For the next four days a London exhibition features the youth cult photos of Register contributor Phil Strongman. Here he explains the whys and wherefores – and how technology has changed such shows.

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 10:30:09 GMT)

Blood Relatives, The Tears of the Rajas and The Fifth Gospel -

Ian Caldwell finds religion (again) and more

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston looks at literature's latest with a compelling debut novel from Stevan Alcock. The days of empire in India get up close and personal due in no small part to Ferdinand Mount's well-documented family history. And for those with a taste for antiquity, Ian Caldwell's latest gives Dan Brown a run for his money.

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 10:00:12 GMT)

Dot-sucks sucks, say lawyers: ICANN urged to kill 'shakedown' now -

Trademark briefs complain of 'predatory, exploitative and coercive practices'

The intellectual property constituency (IPC) of domain overseer ICANN has formally asked the organization to halt the rollout of the controversial .sucks top-level domain, due to start on Monday.…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 09:03:11 GMT)

Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face -

Oh, you're one of them there racists, are you?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? How can you condone racist violence, Alistair?

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 08:00:06 GMT)

To BALDLY GO where few have gone before: NASA 'naut twin to spend YEAR IN SPAACE -

Study will pave the way for mission to Mars

Pic + vid Three 'nauts are on their way to the International Space Station – and two of them are going to remain onboard the orbiting lab for a full year…

(Sat, 28 Mar 2015 00:48:11 GMT)

Hotel Wi-Fi not only hideously expensive – it's horribly insecure -

Wide-open rsync blunder leaves popular gateways vulnerable to hijacking

Travelers are used to getting screwed over by hotel internet access.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 23:05:33 GMT)

Chip rumor-gasm: Intel to buy Altera! Samsung to buy AMD! ... or not -

One way to boost your share price by 28 per cent

Rumors flew fast and furious on Friday about possible acquisitions in the chip industry, with both Intel and Samsung said to be eyeing purchases that could strengthen their positions against rivals.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:50:22 GMT)

FCC supremo slams big cable in gridiron Robin Hood metaphor mash-up -

It's net neutrality, I'm Buckeye, they're Little John, is that all clear?

Net neutrality Tom Wheeler, the chairman of US broadband regulator the FCC, fresh from no fewer than four Congressional grillings, has given a spirited defense of his radical net neutrality rules.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:07:56 GMT)

Flak for Slack chaps in yak app hack flap: User database whacked -

Enable two-factor auth, says biz chat startup

Workplace chat app Slack, popular among West Coast startup hipsters and others, has been hacked, its makers said on Friday.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 20:21:52 GMT)

Appeal court bombshell: Google must face British justice for 'Safari spying' -

Angry Apple users get their shot at licking the Chocolate Factory

Apple Safari-using Brits, who claim they were tracked by Google's adbots without permission, can sue Google in the UK, the Court of Appeal of England and Wales has ruled.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 19:31:03 GMT)

Did we just wake up in an alternate universe? BlackBerry turns a profit -

Back in Black, but one fair quarter does not a turnaround make

BlackBerry actually made money in the fourth quarter of its fiscal 2015, but the bigger picture for the ailing smartphone maker is far from rosy.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 19:20:17 GMT)

In-depth: Supermicro's youngest Twin is a real silent ice maiden -

Don't look now, folks, Trevor's in luuurve

Sysadmin blog Supermicro has released the first of its new line of Twin series unblade* servers and El Reg has taken the opportunity to given them a right good kicking.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 18:31:06 GMT)

GitHub jammed by injected JavaScript, servers whacked by DDoS -

Users unwittingly add to chronic traffic congestion

GitHub's servers are being hammered by web traffic from an army of unwitting cyber-foot-soldiers.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 18:17:07 GMT)

Red Hat explains its choice of scale-out storage hats -

Ceph and Gluster – not a cabaret double act after all

Which Red Hat scale-out storage product should you choose: Ceph or Gluster?…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 18:01:10 GMT)

Big Data will shield the Apple Watch from Android onslaught -

Without data advantage, cheap wristputers struggle to do more than tell the time

It's possible that the arrival of a firm like Apple into wearables with its watch validates the space, just as Apple validated smart phones eight years ago.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 17:32:09 GMT)

All the flash world needs is more TLC, suggests report -

Using it in the iPhone6 turned the supply trickle into a flood

Triple-level cell (TLC) flash is heading towards being nearly half of all flash shipments.…

(Fri, 27 Mar 2015 16:56:05 GMT)