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Culture CLASH: Wuzhen Declaration spurned at World Internet Conference in China -

Positive energy zapped, cyberspace shivers

Analysis As you might expect, China's first global internet conference was a particularly Chinese affair.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 17:21:27 GMT)

Pitchfork-wielding villagers hunt hairy shapeshifters in One Night Ultimate Werewolf -

Do you have a cunning plan?

Board game review El Reg contributor Adam Fowler brings to these pages the first in what may become a series of board game reviews. Here, Adam dices with furry beasts in One Night Ultimate Werewolf. Watch out!

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 16:06:38 GMT)

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bryndzové halušky -

Slovakia's finest, featuring spuds, cheese and ... BACON

It's onwards and eastwards this week with our post-pub nosh neckfiller as we travel to Slovakia in search of bryndzové halušky.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 15:00:05 GMT)

What We Do In The Shadows? Laugh ourselves silly, mostly -

Vampire mockumentary is brilliant fish-out-of-water fun

Film Review It’s hard to believe that What We Do In The Shadows has been eight years in the making, given its spot-on, bang-up-to-date parody of both the vampire obsession and found footage/fake documentary style movies.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 13:00:03 GMT)

UK's non-emergency police and NHS Vodafone systems go titsup NATIONWIDE -

101 and 111 collapse due to technical gaffe

Updated Britain's non-emergency telephone numbers for the police (101) and the NHS (111) have collapsed nationwide.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 12:12:31 GMT)

Yahoo! blames! MONSTER! email! OUTAGE! on! CUT! CABLE! bungle! -

Weekend woe for BT as telco struggles to restore service

Yahoo! has apologised to customers, some of whom have been unable to access their email accounts since Thursday, after an underwater fibre cable was mistakenly severed.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 11:09:26 GMT)

Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM -

First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT

¡Bong! Extra Why can’t Old Media just accept we have it beaten, lie down and die? It’s taking forever. Nothing saddened me more this week than reading that bold new data journalism initiatives from Uber were being shot down before they had even reached Seed stage.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 10:30:11 GMT)

Ford's B-Max: Fiesta-based runaround that goes THUNK -

... when you close the slidey doors, that is ...

Vulture at the Wheel This is the most sensible car you can buy. That's not necessarily a good thing. The Ford B-Max takes all the things you’d look for in practicality and turns them up to 11. However, in doing so it turns emotion down to zero.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 10:00:12 GMT)

Pervert's Guide man's new book, an urban myths tome and Youth, an underrated gem -

Some juicy reads for your weekend

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston trawls through at publishing's top notch texts. Bad boy philosopher Slavoj Žižek puts Russell Brand in the shade with his latest cultural critique, while urban mythmeister Jan Harold Brunvand has revised his entertaining and enduring tome that's a goldmine for comedians and sketch writers alike. And we've a new translation of German literary great, Wolfgang Koeppen.

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 09:02:11 GMT)

BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from? -

Don't worry about that cable, it's part of the config

Episode 13

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 08:00:04 GMT)

'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT -

Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned

QuoTW This was the week when hacktivist collective Anonymous decided to take on the Ku Klux Klan after a local chapter of the white supremacist group threatened protesters in Ferguson, Missouri.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 07:30:06 GMT)

I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh! -

Welcome to the age of the self-crashing car

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Why are Volvos called Volvos? Because their drivers are cunts.”…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 07:00:13 GMT)

Leaked screenshots show next Windows kernel to be a perfect 10 -

Not since Vista has this happened

Microsoft surprised us by upping its Windows product numbering from 8.1 straight to 10, and now it appears it's planning to make an even greater leap in the version numbering of the Windows kernel itself.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 03:09:09 GMT)

HP boss Meg Whitman shuffles exec pawns just before biz splits -

CEO aims to 'minimise disruption' of PC and printer break out while rivals sneer

HP CEO Meg Whitman has outlined a management re-org to steer the business toward an eventual split into two separate Fortune 50 firms, according to an internal memo seen by El Chan.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 02:18:44 GMT)

Judge OKs $450m deal to end ebook price-hike row. But Apple just won't let it die -

Who's winning? The lawyers

A Manhattan judge has finally approved Apple's settlement in its long-running ebook price-fixing lawsuit: $400m will go to readers who paid over the odds, and $50m will go to the lawyers suing the iTunes Giant.…

(Sat, 22 Nov 2014 01:13:41 GMT)

Mozilla remembers 2013. Y'know, back when it still gobbled at the Google money-trough -

Firefox-maker's annual report shows costs rising, sales flat

The Mozilla Foundation has released its annual financial statement for 2013, and the numbers raise important questions about Mozilla's future, now that it has ended its longstanding funding relationship with Google.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 23:41:49 GMT)

Europe may ask Herr Google: Would you, er, snap off your search engine? Pretty please -

Wenn es nicht zu viel Mühe Herr Schmidt

The European Parliament will reportedly consider pressuring, say, ad giant Google to snap off its search engine and move it away from its biz operations.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 23:02:55 GMT)

First in line to order a Nexus 6? AT&T has a BRICK for you -

Black Screen of Death plagues early Google-mobe batch

Motorola has issued a recall for an early batch of its hotly anticipated new Nexus 6 smartphones that were sold through US mobile carrier AT&T, owing to a software glitch that can reportedly causes the devices to boot to a black screen.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:46:12 GMT)

Amazon warming up 'cheapo web video' cannon to SINK Netflix -

Web souk will tout new online telly biz in 2015, claim sources

Amazon is preparing a video-streaming service that will be stuffed with ads – and undercut rivals Netflix and Hulu Plus, it's been reported.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:15:01 GMT)

That's all folks! US TV streaming upstart Aereo files for bankrupcy -

Big Media wins again

It's the end of the line for the TV streaming biz Aereo: it has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and appointed a chief restructuring officer to extract some remaining value from its assets.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 21:19:50 GMT)

It's 2014 and people are willing to blow $6.8m on things like -

Hey, has anyone thought about selling books online? Maybe a search engine with ads? has been sold for $6.8m (£4.3m, 800m yen) to Japanese domain biz GMO Registry, putting it in the top ten of all-time domain name sales.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 21:03:51 GMT)

Google Contributor: Ad-block killer – or proof NO ONE will pay for news? -

Make those annoying banners go away? Sure. But it'll cost ya

Google has offered to charge people a monthly subscription fee to read articles and gawp at photos online.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 20:25:15 GMT)


Hikvision devices wide open to hacking, claim securobods

DVR systems from Hikvision have vulnerabilities that open the door to hacking, security researchers have warned.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 18:06:03 GMT)

All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing -

Only another three days of pooing and I can have a ride!

Next week punters travelling between Bristol and Bath will be able to ride on a bus ultimately powered by human poo, the first ever such service in the UK.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 17:26:05 GMT)

IBM lifts axe, will trim UK workforce weeks before Chrimbo -

All about 'rebalancing' don't yer know

With only weeks to go before the good folk of Blighty sit down to tuck into their Chrimbo dinners, IBM has decided to swing the corporate axe to trim the local workforce.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 16:56:11 GMT)

Beware Brit cops bearing battering rams. Four nabbed over Trojan claims -

Rozzers join international Europol operation

British cops have arrested four people suspected of using Trojans to illegally take control of computers.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 16:35:04 GMT)

Former Systemax execs charged over $9m fraud, tax evasion -

Gilbert Fiorentino in the dock, keeping brother Carl brother company

The Feds have now charged ex-Systemax senior exec Gilbert Fiorentino, following on from his brother and former colleague Carl, with allegedly perpetrating fraud to the tune of millions of dollars as well as evading tax.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 15:59:07 GMT)

Windows Phone will snatch biz No 2 spot from Android – analyst -

BlackBerry? Who they?

Android for business is under threat from Microsoft, claims CCS Insight. The Chocolate company’s mobile OS will fall out of favour as the top alternative to Apple, says VP of Enterprise research Nick McQuire.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 15:34:09 GMT)

CIA crypto-king offers new 'clock' clue to crack Kryptos code -

Big structure in full public view unlikely to contain anything important

The man who built a cryptographic sculpture for the CIA has provided a second clue to help crack its infamously difficult code.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 15:05:39 GMT)

The cloud that goes puff: Seagate Central home NAS woes -

4TB of home storage is great, until you wake up to a dead device

It is “your personalised cloud” says the puff for the Seagate Central NAS. “All your videos, music, photos and documents stored on one device.”…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 14:29:05 GMT)

Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers -

Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs

Comment Two highly qualified Google engineers who have spent years studying and trying to improve renewable energy technology have stated quite bluntly that renewables will never permit the human race to cut CO2 emissions to the levels demanded by climate activists. Whatever the future holds, it is not a renewables-powered civilisation: such a thing is impossible.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 13:59:12 GMT)

Glasgow boffins: We can now do it, Captain. We DO have the molecular storage power -

Breaking the flash memory limit using, er, POM molecules

If the number of electrons on flash storage is getting too few for reliability then use molecules for bit storage instead, and that's exactly what Glasgow uni boffins have gone and done it.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 13:45:12 GMT)

In a mall at the weekend? WORSE STILL, are you LOST? -

Cambridge Silicon Radio intros SIRFusion ... for a knight in

A new indoor positioning system has been unveiled by Bluetooth grandees Cambridge Silicon Radio. The system consists of Android middleware which gives access to a database of indoor positions.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 13:25:03 GMT)

Who is out there waiting to spy on you or steal your data? -

Know your enemy

The growth rate of digital attacks continues to alarm. According to PwC’s Global State of Information Security Survey 2015, the number of reported incidents rose by 48 per cent this year to 42.8 million, the equivalent of 117,339 attacks a day.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 13:09:11 GMT)

We're not, er, 'cut-throat' capitalists – VC formerly known as ISIS -

Equity firm now called 'Living Bridge'. The horror continues

Not wanting to be confused with the vicious band of Middle Eastern warmongerers, ISIS Equity Partners has killed off its old brand, and is now answering the phones as Living Bridge.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 12:47:03 GMT)

DoubleDirect hackers snaffle fandroid and iPhone-strokers' secrets -

Windows and Linux seem immune from redirection assault

Hackers are running “Man-in-the-Middle” attacks (MitM) against smartphones using a new attack technique, security researchers warn.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 12:33:03 GMT)

BEST EVER broadband? Oh no you DIDN'T, Sky – ad watchdog -

Rival BT moaned that claim was misleading

The telecoms giant formerly known as BSkyB has been ordered to remove a "best ever" broadband ad after rival BT claimed it was "misleading".…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 12:16:09 GMT)

'How a censorious and moralistic blogger ruined my evening' -

Damn tech press. Reporting and stuff. Jesus

So you’re at an Uber-hosted dinner for New York media high-rollers, and the Uber exec - Emil Michael, senior VP for business - you’re talking to goes off on one, suggesting he could hire a million dollar team to dig up dirt on hostile journalists and their families. What do you do? This - apparently - depends on who you are.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 12:01:09 GMT)

Dragon Age Inquisition: Our chief weapons are... -

Bioware's fantasy forces in fine fettle

Game Theory Well done Bioware, you've obviously resisted any Borg-like assimilation into EA and have listened closely to the criticisms of Dragon Age II and it’s claustrophobic narrative. Suddenly, I’m feeling good about starting my epic RPG battle with rebellious mages and old gods. I’m in this game for the long haul.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 11:48:08 GMT)

Computacenter UK boss Muller: Happy New Year, folks... I'm off -

Internal and external successors line up

Six potential candidates are in the running to replace Computacenter’s outgoing UK managing director Neil Muller, who has resigned but remains on board until the end of January.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 11:32:04 GMT)

SolidFire pipes Nitrogen OS 7 into all-flash hardware -

Incremental software improvements

SolidFire’s seventh-generation OS for its all-flash arrays introduces incremental improvements in multi-tenancy and data protection.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 11:14:08 GMT)

Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit? -

Big data ethics doesn't need philosophy – boffin

Comment Data analysts don’t need philosophers to help them with ethical decisions - the “science” can figure that out, a top boffin said this week.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 11:04:03 GMT)

Intel offers ingenious piece of 10TB 3D NAND chippery -

The race for next generation flash capacity now on

IMTF, Intel Micron Flash Technologies, a partnership between Intel and Micron, has a 3D MLC NAND technology, which will be used to build 10TB SSDs in two years.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 10:32:12 GMT)

Home Office: It's an EMERGENCY! We need proper comms -

Sets out contractor for modernised network

The Home Office is seeking suppliers for its Emergency Services Network contract, part of moves to replace the incumbent gaffe-prone £2.9bn Airwave contract due to expire in 2016.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 10:02:10 GMT)

HP, Symantec PAIR UP to fight off disaster cloud rivals -

DRaaS set to appear late next year

HP and Symantec are partnering to develop a cloud-based Disaster Recovery as a Service (DRaaS) offering using Symantec software and HP's Helion cloud.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 09:28:04 GMT)

FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study -

Fat guy? Drink or smoke? You're worse than a TERRORIST

Data Journalism* The BMI-fuelled "obesity epidemic" bandwagon continues to rumble along, with the latest ridiculous report claiming that swingbellies are now twice as serious a menace to human prosperity as climate change.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 09:02:09 GMT)

George.Best walks into a, spots a bearded dwarf sysadmin and thinks: -

And other stories of misconfigured DNS tomfoolery

Nearly 10 million locked-away domain names will be set free and go on sale over the next two months.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:29:09 GMT)

Hey, it's ... Gecko man, Gecko man, does almost whatever a GECKO can -

Stanford student climbs sheet of glass with lizard-tech gloves – Special Forces next?

Vid A graduate student at Stanford has successfully climbed a 3.7-metre glass wall using a pair of super-sticky gloves modeled on the feet of gecko lizards.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 07:57:06 GMT)

Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row -

Put the pillow down, doll

Toy giant Mattel has withdrawn from sale its painfully sexist Barbie book I Can Be A Computer Engineer after a storm of protest.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 07:32:12 GMT)

Young Germans: PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT a digital STARTUP -

But Spanish and Italian youths want to set them up themselves

Most young Germans do NOT want to work for a digital start up.…

(Fri, 21 Nov 2014 07:05:10 GMT)