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Turnbull should spare us all airline-magazine-grade cloud hype -

Box-hugger is not a dirty word, Minister. Box-huggers make the cloud WORK

Australia's Communications minister Malcolm Turnbull on Monday labelled those who oppose use of the public cloud “box-huggers” and suggested such behaviour is bad because it ties organisations to an outmoded and expensive way of doing IT.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 21:16:12 GMT)

BlackBerry will pay you $$$s to be its friend and dump that iPhone -

Hugs not included

Sales-challenged BlackBerry is hoping to bribe iPhone users away from Apple with a cash offer starting next month.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 20:43:57 GMT)

NASA 'nauts have a go on Star Trek replicator IN SPAAAACE (sort of) -

Butch plasticky and the sun power plant kit

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station have successfully tested their new 3D printer – proving the team can manufacture small parts while in orbit, somewhat.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:42:25 GMT)

Net neutrality: EU's three-headed beast now at war with itself -

Political bodies nowhere near a final decision

Europe’s telecoms ministers are miles from an agreement with the European Parliament on net neutrality, as differences between the EU's governmental bodies become more apparent.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 17:03:12 GMT)

Wasn't it all supposed to be so different by now, Meg? -

HP says fiscal '15 will be flat. Fiscal '16? Not prepared to say

Showering partners with love, making changes to the exec line-up, upping R&D and other tweaks made by CEO Meg Whitman were supposed to get HP's business firing on all cylinders, but after year three of the turnaround plan, they've yet to do so.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 16:34:09 GMT)

Samsung makes investors happy with $1bn share buyback -

Aiming to secure stock price stability after recent falls

Samsung has announced a plan to buy back $2bn worth of its shares, after investors pressured the firm for higher returns.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 15:59:09 GMT)

UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS -

Oxford boffins toil away on Q20:20 machine

Oxford boffins have vowed to have the largest quantum computer ever made up and running within five years and help Blighty regain its place at the top of the tech world.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 15:26:13 GMT)

Musicians sue over 'zero pay' copyright fix -

Everyone else in Europe compensates us - why can't you?

Musicians and composers have launched a High Court legal challenge to a change the government has made to UK copyright law. British bureaucrats insisted on introducing a long-overdue private copying exception without compensation - the only European state to do so.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 14:58:10 GMT)

De-linked a website, Google? Don't bother telling webmaster – EU -

...but do ensure you remove it from as well

Europe’s data protection watchdogs say there’s no need for Google to notify webmasters when it de-lists a page under the so-called "right to be forgotten" ruling.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 14:36:12 GMT)

Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland -

Cuckoo clocks and cheese no match for iThings

Apple has achieved a record-breaking market capitalisation of $700bn - making it more valuable than Switzerland.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 14:02:13 GMT)

Fat upstart Nimble embiggens revenues by 77% in ONE quarter -

Even their losses are levelling off. You listening, NetApp?

Nimble Storage is providing an object lesson in how to grow a startup after IPO, posting a 77 per cent jump in quarterly revenues – with revenue growth outstripping the loss increase rate.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:38:06 GMT)

ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST -

Paid tongue action nipped by adland watchdog

The Advertising Standards Authority has rapped the knuckles of video bloggers for making it unclear when they’re actually recommending something and when they’ve been paid to hawk it to unsuspecting YouTubers.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:20:13 GMT)

Look out: That data protection watchdog can bite -

Regulation set to get tougher

Despite all the furores, calamities and Snowden-related shenanigans of recent years, the UK’s privacy watchdog remains something of a pussycat, and a lean one at that.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:08:08 GMT)

Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME! -

Now my lawyers have bailed 'cos I'm 'OFFICIALLY' BROKE

Vid Megaupload founder, wannabe politician and wanted man Kim Dotcom has spent all of his money trying to avoid extradition to the US to face online piracy charges.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:44:08 GMT)

Speaking in Tech: Is OpenStack really letting the SAN shine? - Podcast Live from Paris, it's our weekly techcast (Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:30:00 GMT)

Can't flog software for love nor money? UK mega-reseller Softcat probably ate your lunch -

UK firm hits £500m sales milestone

Unstoppable reseller juggernaut Softcat has smashed through the £500m sales barrier in the most recent fiscal year ended July, meaning it has grown for the past 36 straight quarters.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:16:49 GMT)

I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations -

Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox!

Most films take a sombre view of time travel. Beings from the future will look back on our concepts of time travel seen in films as different as the Time Bandits and the Edge of Tomorrow and wonder what the hell we were thinking.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:01:10 GMT)

Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register -

Bentley found in a hedge gets WW2 lump insertion

Most car marques – Lagonda, Ford, Morgan and so on – have a proud history and the respective car clubs often worship the original form; if you present a car for judging, it had better be exactly as per factory spec. Or else.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:44:06 GMT)

Yes, UK. Johnny Foreigner has better mobe services than you -

EE best of a disappointing lot

UK readers, what you've always suspected has been proven true – even the weakest mobile networks abroad perform better than some of our best. This is according to German mobile network survey company P3, which this week published solid numbers on mobile network coverage.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:32:11 GMT)

Universal Credit CRISIS: Up to £200m in IT spend WASTED – NAO -

Get ready for a write-off, say auditors

Around £219m in IT investments in the much-maligned Universal Credit programme may be written off, a National Audit Office report has revealed today.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:16:10 GMT)

What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight -

You fought hard and you saved and earned. But all of it's going to burn...

Review Having a headline piece of consumer tech crash and burn in the US market is every company's nightmare – and that's exactly what happened to Amazon’s Fire Phone, whose price has just PLUNGED from $449 to $199 Stateside.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:03:29 GMT)

Inside Aurora: how disruptive is Amazon’s MySQL clone? -

Storage engine made for the cloud – shame it's only for MySQL

At its recent re:Invent conference in Las Vegas, Amazon announced its new database engine Aurora, claiming it to be a commercial grade database engine at open-source cost. “It’s at least as available, durable and fault-tolerant as the enterprise editions of the proprietary commercial database engines and high-end SANs,” said senior AWS VP Andy Jassy, “and it’s a tenth of the cost.”…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:46:09 GMT)

Zero-day hacking group resorts to UNICORN SMUT-SLINGING -

Playboy ploy not beneath APT3

Sysadmins who have not yet patched their Windows boxes against the 18-year-old "unicorn-like" OLE bug disclosed last month could expect a deluge of spear phishing smut from a group once confined to lofty targeted zero-day attacks.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:34:13 GMT)

LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French -

There are benefits? Mais oui, says IT support firm

Back in October, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team welcomed our magnificent Kickstarter sponsors to Vulture Central, and among those who rolled up to be frisked by security at the door were representatives of London-based IT support firm Lucidica.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:15:05 GMT)

Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids -

Stylish Googlephones for not-so-deep pockets

Product round-up Cheap Android smartphones have their place ultimately in a landfill site1 for those on a tight budget or as an extra for convenience abroad or elsewhere. So what if you fall into the middle ground?…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:00:03 GMT) biz dept: Yoof APPRENTICE? Get a degree while YOU'RE HIRED -

Save your parents a fortune

Blighty’s government has come up with a new plan to get kids into science, tech, engineering and maths careers – by giving ‘em a degree along with their apprenticeship.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 09:38:08 GMT)

Calls for probe of's DOESN'T VERIFY ID service -

Identity system is two years late and doesn't work, says Labour

Britain's opposition Labour party is calling on the government to urgently address its gaffe-prone identity assurance system "Verify" – the key component in getting citizens to use transactional digital services – or face an official investigation.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 09:23:10 GMT)

As-a-service upstarts will KILL OFF THE CORPORATES? -


Worstall on Wednesday Amazingly, economists have figured out a few things...even things that can help in this brave new digital world. One of these is the "marketplaces vs firm" debate.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 09:04:07 GMT)

Five-eyes partners dilute UN resolution criticising metadata collection -

We need privacy, but not too much, say US and allies

The “five eyes” surveillance partners – the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada and New Zealand – have joined forces to nobble a UN General Assembly committee's statements on digital privacy.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:37:05 GMT)

How to run a big web music biz (Spotify): Grab more cash from fans, sink deeper into the red -

Haters gonna hate, says media upstart

Spotify has taken advice from Taylor Swift and shaken off its haters: the online music streaming upstart is in good shape despite increased losses.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:19:12 GMT)

Floody hell! Brits cram Internet of Things into tight White Spaces -

Surprising what you can do with a river and 13Mbps over old telly frequencies

Geeks in Oxford, England, have squeezed 13Mbps down and 3Mbps up a single channel of White Space – unused TV frequencies in their area – and used the tech to connect up river flood sensors.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:02:05 GMT)

BT said to have pulled patent-infringing boxes from DSL network -

Take your license demand and stick it in your ASSIA

BT's patent spat with US company ASSIA will start to be noticed by customers, with the carrier reportedly shutting down boxes that provide rate adaptation after it lost a crucial round of legal action.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 07:40:57 GMT)

Bloke fighting Facebook in court says ad network claims its users lack 'legal capacity' to sue it -

Austrian campaigner baffled by latest turn in privacy battle

Austrian Facebook-botherer-in-chief Max Schrems says the US social network appears to be saying its users are either too young or too insane to file a class-action lawsuit against it.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 07:17:11 GMT)

Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT -

<0.5 get TRUE/FALSE answer right on Moore's Law

A terrifying new quiz has indicated that the state of knowledge among Americans regarding IT topics is abysmally low: but the questions are such as to indicate that even the drafters of the quiz didn't know much.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 07:01:05 GMT)

Hey, here's some face-tracking tech from Samsung you probably won't find creepy at all -

It's cool! It's fine! It'll be open source, we swear, says chaebol

Samsung says it'll release the source code to software that allows physically disabled people to move a mouse pointer with their eyes.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 06:38:03 GMT)

Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds... -

FYI this isn't just going to target Windows, Linux and OS X fans

After Symantec published its report on the Regin super-spyware, there were many questions raised. Who coded it? What can it do? And – above all – why did it take so long for security vendors to notice it?…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 06:21:12 GMT)

UK cops: Give us ONE journo's phone records. Vodafone: Take the WHOLE damn database! -

Telco spaffed info on 1,700 staffers, watchdog says

Blundering Vodafone leaked the phone records of 1,760 Brit journalists and their colleagues to London's Met Police, a UK watchdog confirmed on Tuesday.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 06:02:12 GMT)

Privacy bods Detekt FinFisher dressed as bookmark manager -

Government spyware-spotting project Detekt scores in first week of release

The Detekt privacy tool has discovered the FinFisher law enforcement spyware masquerading as a benign bookmark manager.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 05:26:19 GMT)

Snowden doc leak lists submarine'd cables tapped by spooks -

El Reg's CIRCUIT, REMEDY and GERONTIC scoop verified in list of 62 popped pipes

Edward Snowden's latest document dump has confirmed the extensive list of submarine cables tapped by the NSA, GCHQ and others.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 05:02:08 GMT)

Guess which US tech giant was just hit with a $137m tax bill in China? -

Was it Moracle? Moogle? Med Hat? Madobe? Macebook? Or maybe Mapple?

The Chinese government doesn't want to embarrass whichever US multinational it just slapped with a US$140m bill in back taxes – but let's just say it's large and its name begins with the letter "M."…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 04:33:04 GMT)

Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar -

Slow software will be made to 'fess up to FAILS

Apple looks to be trying to do something about the flaky nature of software progress bars by making them user-configurable so they report when a machine has missed its estimate of the time needed to complete a task.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 03:58:03 GMT)

Google turns on shiny new .google top-level domain – but WHY? -

Just one gTLD and a redirect as ad giant readies to enter domain market

Google has turned on its namesake top-level domain (TLD) with the creation of '' representing the internet giant's entry into the domain name market.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 03:29:11 GMT)

NBN Co makes it official - backhaul charges will fall -

CVC down by 12.5 per cent as of February 2015

NBN Co has followed through on its promise to cut the price of its services with a 12.5 per cent snip off the price of its connectivity virtual circuit (CVC) as of 1 February 2015.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 03:14:04 GMT)

NASA preps mission to probe Earth's magnetic mysteries -

Magnetospheric Multiscale mission to launch March 2015

Video Next March, all going well, NASA will launch a bunch of spacecraft to try and unravel the mechanism of what's called magnetic reconnection, a process by which Earth's magnetic fields connect and disconnect.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 02:57:07 GMT)

Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something -

Blu-Ray's pit and peak pattern supercharges solar cells

Blu-Ray might not be setting the world afire, but boffins have turned up a surprising upside of the technology that can be applied to solar PV manufacture.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 02:31:05 GMT)

Security seals clobbered ahead of Black Friday bonanza -

Hackers' delight as vendors certify phishing sites

This Black Friday, beware the shop with the security seal: researchers have shown that issuers of common good webkeeping seals of approval sometimes miss basic flaws, happily certify phishing sites and inadvertently function as a hackers' black book of vulnerable sites.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 02:06:03 GMT)

IDC: iPad sales CRASH incoming ... Win 8 killing 2-in-1 typoslabs -

Death of the PC? Death of the touch screen revolution more like it

Market-watcher IDC has bad news for makers of tablets and two-in-one typoslabs like Microsoft's Surface: sales of the former are going to slow markedly and punters are avoiding the latter due to Windows 8.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 01:02:03 GMT)

HP biz split latest: 'I'm excited!' says CEO as investors exchange nervous looks -

PC, printers still doing OK – but don't ask about the rest

HP performed about as well as the analysts expected for the fourth quarter of its fiscal 2014, which is to say it was another difficult quarter that put the cap on what has been a trying year for the tarnished tech titan.…

(Wed, 26 Nov 2014 00:14:12 GMT)

Toshiba Australia recalls combustible laptop power cords -

Lappies sold between 2010 and 2012 at risk becoming El Scorcho

Toshiba Australia has issued a recall notice for the power cord it supplied with laptops sold in Australia between 1st September 2010 and 30th June 2012.…

(Tue, 25 Nov 2014 22:20:01 GMT)

Second time's a charm: Adobe has another go at killing Flash hijack flaw -

It's not December already – out-of-band patch today must be installed

Ready to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday? Can't wait to open your advent calendar? Not so fast – there's one more patch to install before the month is over.…

(Tue, 25 Nov 2014 22:12:23 GMT)