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Hyundai i30 Turbo: Softly, softly, catchee Audi -

Elegant warm hatch edges Hyundai closer to greatness

Vulture at the Wheel When The Reg went for a spin in the Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell, one of the most common reactions we got was “who knew the Koreans would be leading the field in this sort of tech!”…

(Sun, 04 Oct 2015 11:00:12 GMT)

Mysterious brown spots and a different kind of mouse support -

Well, come on, we all need paper when mother nature calls ...

On-Call Welcome once again to On-Call, our regular look at the messes readers find themselves in when asked to go to help out their clients.…

(Sun, 04 Oct 2015 09:00:04 GMT)

What is money? A rabid free marketeer puts his foot in lots of notes -

Fear the drunken sailors and their bottomless wallets

Worstall @ the Weekend Several of you have asked for the skinny on what money actually is. So, here's the full fat Worstall take on cold, hard cash.…

(Sun, 04 Oct 2015 07:00:05 GMT)

Doctor Who's Under the Lake splits Reg scribes: This Alien homage thing – good or bad? -

'I've not seen tech on Earth like this before'


(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:09:06 GMT)

Pluto's moon SPLIT OPEN by ancient FROZEN OCEAN -

Latest snaps beamed back from New Horizons' craft reveal Charon's violent history

Pics Yet more pictures of Pluto and its moon have been sent back to Earth from NASA's New Horizons spacecraft – this time indicating a colossal geological upset in Charon's past.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 17:34:51 GMT)

Google UPCHUCKS Alphabet. Alphabet GOBBLES Google -

M is for ... monster multinational mothers multinational monsters

Google morphed into its new holding company Alphabet after close of business on Friday.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 14:10:41 GMT)

Ten years on: Ronnie Barker, Pismonouncers Unanimous founder, remembered -

One of Britain's best-loved comedy greats

Feature It’s ten years ago today that much-loved comedian, writer and actor Ronnie Barker passed away. By then, despite having retired way back in 1987, he had already won four BAFTAs, a Royal Television Society award for Outstanding Creative Achievement and been made an OBE.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 11:00:07 GMT)

Testing CarPlay with Apple’s most expensive ever accessory -

Of course Ferrari drivers use iPhones. Isn’t it obvious?

Vulture at the Wheel Apple’s CarPlay – which we got the chance to test with the ultimate iPhone accessory, a £200,000 Ferrari California T – is fighting a standards conflict against Google’s Android Auto, in what seems to be a replica of the war between Android and iOS.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 09:00:08 GMT)

Only a CNUT would hold back the waves of the sharing economy -

Put the chainsaw down and step back

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The Turtle-Necked Twats are having their bluff called at last. Taxi-hailing app developer Uber has been invited to rejoin the real world and the TNTs are in uproar.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 07:00:13 GMT)

Russia vows to shame big biz that advertises on pirate sites, and save the internet -

'Major brands are proud of being white-and-fluffy ...'

Russia has vowed to do what Obama and the EU dare not – and we don't mean bomb ISIS. The President Putin-led nation has promised to go after big business and the pirate websites they support.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 06:03:09 GMT)

Microsoft gobbles Chipzilla's Havok 3D physics unit in cloud gaming play -

Don't worry – it promises to play nice with others

Top physics engine for 3D gaming Havoc has been scooped up by Microsoft, which has inked a deal with Intel to buy the outfit for an undisclosed sum.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 00:58:04 GMT)

Mold whine: Soylent superfood shipments stopped by spore scare -

Version 2.0 for the fun guy too busy to eat

Soylent, which produces liquid food for techies who hate chewing, has stopped shipping its gloop after some of it was contaminated with mold.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 00:36:39 GMT)

T-Mobile US hires someone other than bungling Experian to offer ID theft monitoring to hack victims -

TransUnion hunts for crooks

First, Experian was hacked by criminals, and its sensitive records on 15 million people who applied for T-Mobile US phone contracts were stolen.…

(Sat, 03 Oct 2015 00:33:51 GMT)

Moon miners book Kiwi rockets for 2017 lunar landing -

$30m Google Lunar X-Prize now in play

Moon Express, one of the teams competing for the $30m Google Lunar X-Prize, has booked five rockets that will be ready for a 2017 attempt to get to the Moon.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 23:31:52 GMT)

Alleged $32m Gemcoin crypto-bucks scam busted by Feds -

Minerals mined overseas supposed to be converted to virtual cash

The US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) says it has broken up an investment scam that defrauded citizens out of $32m by promising to mine minerals out of the ground – and pay out profits in cryptocurrency.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 22:31:48 GMT)

Apple gobbles Brit AI outfit VocalIQ -

Reports suggest fruity firms has acquired biz which previously sneered at Siri as a 'toy'

Apple is reported to have snapped up UK artificial intelligence company VocalIQ, which had previously sneered at Cupertino's digital assistant Siri as being a mere "toy."…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 22:09:07 GMT)

Like your job at Sprint? Yeah, about that ... $2.5bn in cuts coming -

Carrier CEO Claure claims cuts coming

US mobile carrier Sprint plans to tighten its belt to the tune of up to $2.5bn in cost cuts over the next six months, a new report claims.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 21:31:19 GMT)

Aircon biz fined $1.3m after boss set up attack websites slamming critical punters -

Things got real weird with Atlanta HVAC company

No one likes getting negative reviews online, and it's no secret that many business owners try to fudge the system by posting positive reviews of themselves under pseudonyms.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 20:39:15 GMT)

Five million people exposed in Scottrade brokerage hack -

Biz only found out when the FBI came calling

If you've bought shares using retail broker Scottrade in the last few years, you may want to get in touch with the biz because its servers have been plundered by hackers unknown.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 20:19:39 GMT)

Experian-T-Mobile US hack: 'We trusted them, now that trust is broken' -

Who guards the cyber-guards?

Analysis The IT security breach that spilt the personal details of an estimated 15 million T-Mobile US phone contract applicants has thrown a new spotlight on the risks of breaches at third-party companies.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 19:58:48 GMT)

AdBlock gobbled by 'mystery buyer ' – aka Adblock Plus -

Rumored purchase would double ABP's licence to print money

AdBlock has been flogged off to a mystery buyer – and our sources have pointed to Adblock Plus as the shy purchaser. Such a move that would double the scope of Adblock Plus's empire.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 19:08:36 GMT)

Fujitsu fleshes out Ceph hyperscale CD10000 with cost-saving tweaks -

There is a slight decrease in capacity however

Fujitsu has moved on from its first generation Ceph-based ETERNUS CD10000, a hyperscale system, to the S2 version, and reduced its raw capacity from 56PB to 42PB in the process, while increasing the storage node options.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 18:27:58 GMT)

Amazon flings open source Elasticsearch at Big Data's cloud -

No schema required! Just step right up, good people

Amazon is rolling out open-source Elasticsearch for consumers of its mega cloud.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 17:36:04 GMT)

Hey techies! Ever wanted to adopt a Congresscritter? Now's your chance -

Program looks to get IT bods teaching lawmakers

A former US congressional staffer has created a campaign to put people with technology backgrounds in a position to work with US lawmakers.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 17:01:08 GMT)

Analytics are better with shared storage and not scale-out, says IBM -

Conveniently, we happen to have this shared storage thing lying about. How about that?

IBM has a packaged IBM Data Engine for Analytics – Power Systems Edition, a cluster that includes the integrated servers, parallel file system storage, network switches, and software needed to run MapReduce-based workloads.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 16:27:08 GMT)

Data boffins see the light with extravagantly bit-blessed optical PCM -

Ideal for when you want a cup of tea and a bit of light reading

As if PCM (phase change memory) wasn’t esoteric enough, we now have optical PCM, thanks to sterling boffinry efforts at Oxford and other universities.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 16:01:05 GMT)

Avere climbs higher up the Google cloud mountain -

Come hither, oh ephemeral cloudy thing, and bring your reduced latencies with you

Filer speed turbocharger Avere has a faster virtual filer in the cloud and front-ends Google Nearline and DRA cloud storage.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 15:25:10 GMT)

Watch out VW – French prosecutors are pulling on the rubber gloves -

Squeaaaaak ... SNAP. This won't hurt a bit

Prosecutors in Paris announced Friday that they were launching an investigation into the Volkswagen scandal, looking into what they termed as suspicions of "aggravated deception".…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 15:01:03 GMT)

Apple files patent for long-rumoured iRing-type bling -

First dibs on calling integrated camera the iOfSauron

The long-rumoured iRing might not be a myth after all. Apple has just applied for a patent on "Devices and Methods for a Ring Computing Device".…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 14:36:58 GMT)

Micron: Those dratted PCs, dragging down our revenues -

And SSD market has become a bit of a 'bloodbath'

Declining PC sales took their toll on Micron's DRAM revenues, sending year-on-year growth into reverse for its fiscal 2015.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 14:34:07 GMT)

Trustmarque: 2014 was a helluva year – for all the wrong reasons -

NHS supplier's accounts splattered in red ink

Trustmarque swung to a loss in a challenging 2014 caused by a write-down of acquired Opin Systems, the correction of overstated profits in the prior year and commercial uncertainty leading up to its sale to Liberata.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 14:21:13 GMT)

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg -

Pop a cap on this WTF snap

Caption Competition The witticisms keep flooding in for our biblical-looking chap, who provided "divine" inspiration for a great collection of captions from readers.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 14:02:05 GMT)

CIOs: Tell us about your biggest disaster and how you survived it -

Fat fingers, trainwrecks and everything else in between

Reg roundtable Walt Disney said “a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you”. Well, for all his talents, Walt wasn’t attempting to secure an aging IT system while evolving a vision to “digitalise” his company and secure its future in the long-term.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 13:26:05 GMT)

Hand-cranked ‘DDoS’ floors Thai government website amid protests -

Great Firewall of Thailand? ไม่ได้อย่างแน่นอน, say locals

Thai government websites dropped offline this week in what was either a politically motivated distributed denial-of-service attack or a case of badly designed websites falling over in response to an unusual increase in visitor numbers.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 13:02:08 GMT)

The Steve Jobs of supercomputers: We remember Seymour Cray -

Fast, cool, simple. Repeat

Before Steve Jobs, there was Seymour Cray – father of the supercomputer and regarded as something close to a God in the circles he moved in.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 12:27:35 GMT)

How do you solve a problem like Elliott? EMC's got 3 weeks to figure it out -

And at that point things will get mighty interesting

EMC has most of October to answer activist investor Elliott Management's demands for a shareholder value increase through a sell-off of VMware.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 12:02:09 GMT)

Is the world ready for a Raspberry Pi-powered Lego Babbage Engine? -

Neat idea could become reality with Reg readers' support

A proposal for Lego to build an Analytical Engine staffed by Babbage and Lovelace characters has received just under a third of the support it needs to be considered for production.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 11:47:09 GMT)

Ofcom: Ahem, about that 28GHz spectrum. Let's talk fees -

Let's just pretend that auction disaster never happened, OK?

Having found that it can charge more than it used to for mobile spectrum, Ofcom is planning the same trick for 28GHz Broadband Fixed Wireless Access.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 11:33:12 GMT)

HP fills those big old shoes vacated by Sue Barsamian -

Cloud exec Kerry Bailey ushered into global enterprise channel boss role

Running HP’s global enterprise channel is a big job but someone’s got to do it. That someone is Kerry Bailey, currently a senior exec in the firm’s cloud division.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 11:18:11 GMT)

Asus ZenPad 10 Z300C: Cheap tab, dock combo you can turn up to 11 -

It's all about the bass. And the treble. And the volume

Review If you want a top-notch Android tablet and keyboard package, buy the Sony Xperia Z4 Tablet. It's very good. But at £499 it's also very expensive. If money is tight, Asus can now offer you a superficially not dissimilar package for two hundred quid. That £300 saving suggests some major compromises, so is the Asus a bargain alternative or just a cheap knock-off?…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 11:01:05 GMT)

Apple CEO Tim Cook: Email keyword sniffing? We'd NEVER do that! -

*Cough* Google *cough*

In an interview which covered the company's data protection practices, Apple CEO Tim Cook has said that the company believes "from a values point of view, not from a commercial interest point of view," that privacy is a fundamental human right.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 10:27:10 GMT)

Three mobile data network GOES TITSUP across Blighty -

Customers yell: 'My internet is broken. Arrrrggggh'

Three UK is battling what appears to be a major outage affecting its mobile network.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 09:57:10 GMT)

Siege of Shoreditch was like Stalingrad, but with Froot Loops Bloopers -

Never come between a digital disruptor and his Unicorn Poop

¡BONG! FRONTLINE DISPATCH Tsunami survivors say the first sign of impending disaster is that the tide goes out a very long way. One minute you're on the beach with water lapping at your feet. The next, there's nothing as far as you can see.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 09:33:13 GMT)

So, what's happening with LOHAN? Sweet FAA, that's what -

Well not quite. Spaceplane fans read on...

In September last year, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team wrapped a successful Kickstarter campaign to take the launch of our Vulture 2 rocket-powered spaceplane to the US of A.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 09:06:05 GMT)

Has somebody shared your 'anonymised' health data? Bad news -

Harvard boffins unmask 100% of 'encrypted' S Korean records

Researchers from Harvard University have published a paper claiming a 100 per cent success rate in de-anonymising patients from their supposedly anonymised healthcare data in South Korea.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 08:34:10 GMT)

Five things that doomed the big and brilliant BlackBerry 10 -

So long, and thanks for all the emails

Listicle Clickbait Special BlackBerry wants you to know that the BlackBerry 10 (BB10) isn't dead. But beyond receiving essential maintenance, it simply isn't a priority for BlackBerry, which boasts that it now has over 50 per cent of its staff in software and sales jobs.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 08:04:31 GMT)

I was GOOGLE for a MINUTE, claims quick-witted dude -

Mountain View scrambles after domain quirk gives intern Google.com access

Google is investigating how an Amazon intern "bought" its Google.com domain.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 07:30:12 GMT)

Autonomy ex-boss Lynch tells of poisonous life within HP in High Court showdown -

Mike claims merger was sabotaged from Day One

Analysis Former Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch has stepped up his rhetoric against HP in his latest lawsuit against the firm, having characterized HP as a snake pit of backbiting and internecine squabbling where execs "generally fought amongst themselves like cats in a sack."…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 07:02:13 GMT)

Dangerous resurgent banking malware hits UK -

Bank trojan twin pivots to smash supply chain biz

The formidable Dyreza and Dridex banking malware are back in renewed and rejigged macro-based campaigns that includes a shift by the former to target industrial supply chain organisations and by the latter to smash the UK.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 06:30:11 GMT)

Dodgy amphetamines drive drug-crazed man on to pub roof -

Lancashire cops issue contaminated whizz warning after four are hospitalised

Lancashire cops have issued a warning to Blackburn speed-lovers after a "contaminated" batch of amphetamines prompted four cases of extreme aggression and adverse physical reaction.…

(Fri, 02 Oct 2015 06:01:10 GMT)