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SAP's cloud revenues swell 45% – just don't ask about the gaping €136m hole in profits -

Qualtrics slurp and restructure aren't making any money yet

SAP's cloud biz is ballooning, but aggressive restructuring efforts and charges related to the recent $8bn buy of Qualtrics have resulted in an operating loss of €136m for Q1 of its fiscal 2019.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 15:30:13 GMT)

Brit spy chief: We need trust or we won't have a 'licence to operate in cyberspace' -

GCHQ U-turns, wants Joe Public onside as well as industry

Cyber UK 2019 GCHQ's director-general has called for more public trust in the controversial British spy agency.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 14:33:11 GMT)

Remember Windows Media Center? Well, the SDK is now on GitHub to be poked at your leisure -

If you ever wanted to write an extension for Microsoft's long-dead media hub, you can

One of the original managers of the Microsoft's ill-fated Windows Media Center has made the SDK available on GitHub.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 14:03:55 GMT)

Rising sea levels? How about the rising risk of someone using a nuke? -

UK Lords cite 'irresponsible rhetoric' and communication as factors. Sound familiar?

Never mind the climate, things are looking decidedly dicey on the nuke front, according to the UK's House of Lords.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 12:55:00 GMT)

President Trump sits down with Twitter boss for crunch talks: Why am I losing followers? -

Commander-in-chief whined about waning e-peen – report

When the "leader of the free world" hauled Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey into the White House for a meeting yesterday, you would be forgiven for thinking they'd attempt to address the issues that have bedevilled social media of late – bots, disinformation, unsolicited DMs, Nazis...…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 11:39:09 GMT)

The peelable, foldable phone has become the great white whale of tech -

Now Samsung wants its samples back

Analysis So. Gartner was right to be cautious about the foldable phone after all. Samsung has postponed the 3 May launch of the Galaxy Fold handset, and now Reuters reports that the Korean giant wants all the samples back.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 10:30:13 GMT)

IT sales star wins $600k lawsuit against Oracle in Qatar – but can't collect, because the Oracle he sued suddenly vanished -

Database biz shifted its assets to another biz mid-trial

In January last year, after four years of litigation, a former Oracle sales rep in Qatar won a lawsuit against the database giant to collect unpaid sales commission.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:56:06 GMT)

Windows 10 May 2019 Update thwarted by obscure tech known as 'external storage' -

USBs and SD cards can result in a drive-letter switcheroo

Fans of the underused and little-known technology mostly referred to as "external storage" have found themselves blocked from installing the Windows 10 May 2019 Update.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:15:11 GMT)

UK cautiously gives Huawei the nod for 5G network gear sales -

But only on the edge, Chinese giant not trusted in the core

Britain will allow Huawei infrastructure kit on 5G mobile networks, according to reports, but not into the core of those networks, which is where UK spies fear Chinese backdoors exists.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 08:32:34 GMT)

Thanks to the NASA InSight probe (and British tools), you can now listen to the sound of a Martian earthquake -

Astroboffins rejoice over tiny rumblings underground

Video NASA’s InSight lander has detected seismic waves on Mars for the first time and the space agency is letting everyone else listen in too.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 06:58:13 GMT)

Cache in those chips: Intel emits more ninth-gen Core processors, Nvidia touts GPUs and swipes back at Tesla -

Quick summary as your morning coffee brews

Roundup You're busy. We're busy... looking busy. Here's a quick catch up on this week's chip news for you.…

(Wed, 24 Apr 2019 05:27:04 GMT)

Baffling tale of Apple shops' 'non-facial' 'facial recognition', a stolen ID, and a $1bn lawsuit after a wrongful arrest -

Teen loses driving permit, gets wrongly linked to spate of thefts

A teenager is suing Apple in the US for $1bn, claiming he was misidentified as a thief by a mysterious facial-recognition system in the iGiant's stores.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 23:41:00 GMT)

Accenture sued over website redesign so bad it Hertz: Car hire biz demands $32m+ for 'defective' cyber-revamp -

Rental firm fuming after consultancy 'never delivered a functional site or mobile app'

Car rental giant Hertz is suing over a website redesign from hell.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 21:12:53 GMT)

California's politicians rush to gut internet privacy law with pro-tech giant amendments -

Meanwhile, the only pro-privacy proposal gets quietly pulled

Analysis The right for Californians to control the private data that tech companies hold on them may be undermined today at a critical committee hearing in Sacramento.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 19:38:21 GMT)

Node.js version 12 is now out: Let's pop the hood and see what's inside this JS runtime -

TLS 1.3, speedups, reduced memory overhead, and more

Node.js, the popular JavaScript runtime that relies on the Chrome V8 JavaScript engine, hit version 12 on Tuesday, bringing with a handful of potentially useful features and capabilities.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 19:03:49 GMT)

Dell EMC and Cisco renew their vows as converged offspring VxBlock turns 10 -

Yes, converged infrastructure model is still a thing

Dell EMC and Cisco have renewed the dark pact under which the two collaborated on converged infrastructure (CI) products for a decade.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 17:30:12 GMT)

Lightbits? More like Latebits amirite? Israeli outfit finally swings by the all-flash array party -

Is it a nerd? Is it a control plane? No, it's... SuperSSD

Israeli NVMe/TCP pioneer Lightbits finally showed up to the all-flash array market today with an Ethernet-attached SSD appliance – the imaginatively named SuperSSD.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 16:30:05 GMT)

It was that gosh-darn anomaly again, says SpaceX as smoke billows from Crew Dragon test site -

NASA schedules walloped, Cynus launches, and Owen Garriott's final voyage

Roundup It has been an eventful past seven days in space what with SpaceX making a big cloud o' orange smoke, Cygnus docking, and veteran astronaut Owen Garriott taking his final journey into the black.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 15:30:08 GMT)

High Court confirms the way UK banned GSM gateways was illegal -

Ministers can't tell Ofcom to ignore the law after all

UK comms regulator Ofcom can't be ordered to ignore its legal duties, the High Court has ruled, paving the way for GSM gateway operators to claim compensation after Home Office ministers and mandarins destroyed their businesses.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 14:30:08 GMT)

'Fake 5G' feud falters as Sprint, AT&T settle suit over 'misleading' label -

The 'E' is for 'Ersatz'

US network operators Sprint and AT&T remain coy about the details of a 5G ceasefire they have just agreed.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 13:30:07 GMT)

Not another pro-Brexit demo... though easy to confuse: Each Union Jack marks a pile of poo -

Residents' scheme flags up scourge of lazy dog owners

Is there anything more triumphantly British than fields strewn with dog toffee? Well, there is now: fields strewn with dog toffee with Union Jacks proudly planted in them.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 12:50:09 GMT)

Whose cloud is it anyway? Apple sinks $30m a month into rival Amazon's AWS – report -

iPhone maker set to feed competitor even more dollars over the next five years

Apple has been identified as one of the largest customers of Amazon Web Services, splashing tens of millions of dollars each month on public cloud infrastructure supplied by its rival.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 12:12:23 GMT)

Microsoft fans celebrate the Easter weekend with some Sets-based upsets -

Plus: Windows 10 May 2019 Update on MSDN, Surface Hub 2S has a trolley

Roundup Last week was all about Windows as Surface Hub 2 crept closer to availability and Windows 10 arrived on MSDN. But the Easter Bunny didn't deliver Sets this year.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:15:06 GMT)

Cheapskate Brits appear to love their Poundland MVNOs as UK's big four snubbed in survey again -

Giffgaff tops satisfaction ratings, Vodafone brings up the rear

Updated Cheapo MVNOs have again scored far higher than the UK's big four mobile networks in Which? magazine's customer satisfaction ratings.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 10:28:51 GMT)

Micron's new 9300 SSDs are bigger, faster and simpler... which is nice -

3 variants become 2 with lower latency and just the one format

Updated Micron has replaced its U.2 and AIC-format 9200 SSDs with an U.2-only 9300 line, beefing up capacities from 11TB to up to 15.36TB.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 09:09:30 GMT)

Sign up here: Learn all you need to know about Amazon's cloud for free at AWS London Summit -

One-day event promises to cover all angles

Promo Whether you are an experienced techie or a newbie still mulling over the prospect of venturing onto the cloud, there will be plenty to sink your teeth into at the Amazon Web Services Summit taking place on 8 May at London’s ExCel.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 08:55:05 GMT)

All we wanna do is talk torque: Taiwanese boffins spin a better way to switch MRAM states -

Platinum-class MRAM exchange bias is the key

Taiwanese spintronics boffins have made an important finding in magnetic random access memory (MRAM) tech: a faster way to switch MRAM states by using a nanometre scale layer of platinum.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 08:03:07 GMT)

Like that other bloke who rose from the grave, the El Reg security desk is back this week... -

...and here's a quick summary of what's been going down in infosec land

Roundup Welcome back, Brits, from your Easter break – assuming you weren't working or on-call over the four-day weekend.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 06:52:05 GMT)

Fed up with 72-hour, six-day working weeks, IT workers emit cries for help via GitHub repo -

Help! Help! We're being held prisoner in a software factory!

A protest by tech employees in China over the expectation of 72-hour work weeks has this week attracted the support of 30 workers from Microsoft and its GitHub subsidiary.…

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 05:56:12 GMT)

FYI: Get ready for face scans on leaving the US because 1.2% of visitors overstayed their visas -

Uncle Sam wants to run fliers' fizogs through photo databases by 2023

Water cooler Hey El Reg, help me out with this. I saw someone on Twitter complaining that she had to have her face scanned by US airline JetBlue before flying overseas from America. Why would they be doing this?

(Tue, 23 Apr 2019 00:53:11 GMT)

Tesla touts totally safe, not at all worrying self-driving cars – this time using custom chips -

Good bye to Nvidia, hello to the Samsung-fabbed FSD

Tesla claims to have built a "fully self driving" (FSD) system using custom-designed math processors, allowing its vehicles to potentially drive themselves completely autonomously.…

(Mon, 22 Apr 2019 23:23:51 GMT)

Bloke faces up to 20 years in the clink after gun held to dot-com owner's head in robbery -

Mastermind of armed snatch that went rather wrong is found guilty, awaits sentencing

A 26-year-old internet entrepreneur faces up to 20 years behind bars in America, and a potential $250,000 fine, after attempt to steal a really not-very-good domain name.…

(Mon, 22 Apr 2019 21:23:46 GMT)

NPM is Not Particularly Magnanimous? Staff fired after trying to unionize – complaints -

Plus: Employee diversity, harassment brouhahas within Microsoft, Google

Special report Three of the five people axed from JavaScript package management biz NPM Inc last month claim bosses got rid of them for trying to form a union.…

(Mon, 22 Apr 2019 20:33:09 GMT)

Now here's a Galaxy far, far away: Samsung stalls Fold rollout after fold-able screens break in hands of reviewers -

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run

Samsung has confirmed that its dual-screen Galaxy Fold handset, which was due to go on sale for $1,980 apiece this week in the US, has been delayed due to the touchscreen easily breaking.…

(Mon, 22 Apr 2019 18:59:27 GMT)

Take your pick: 0/1/* ... but beware – your click could tank an entire edition of a century-old newspaper -

Sh*t! Sh*t sh*t sh*t

Who, Me? Welcome once more to Who, Me? where readers share their panic-inducing moments of tech support cock-ups.…

(Mon, 22 Apr 2019 10:09:07 GMT)

Wannacry-slayer Marcus Hutchins pleads guilty to two counts of banking malware creation -

'I regret these actions and accept full responsibility for my mistakes'

Marcus Hutchins, the British security researcher who shot to fame after successfully halting the Wannacry ransomware epidemic, has pleaded guilty to crafting online bank-account-raiding malware.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 22:10:20 GMT)

Defense against the Darknet, or how to accessorize to defeat video surveillance -

Boffins from Belgium break people recognition software with a colorful placard

A trio of Belgium-based boffins have created a ward that renders wearers unrecognizable to software trained to detect people.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 21:16:09 GMT)

Not one of the 12 steps: Rehab patients' details exposed in publicly visible database -

Researcher disturbed at availability of very personal data

More than two years of billing records from a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center were made freely available on the internet, a security researcher has discovered.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 20:26:19 GMT)

Double trouble for Lyft after share price drop sparks class action lawsuits claiming hype -

Rideshare company lied about market share, claim investors

Rideshare company Lyft has been hit with two class action lawsuits by investors who claim the company lied about its market share.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 19:05:09 GMT)

UK comms watchdog mulls 5G tweaks: Operators want moooooar power -

Oh and remove the guard bands, would you Ofcom?

Ofcom is amenable to technical tweaks that mobile operators have requested to 5G rules, launching a consultation yesterday.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:40:13 GMT)

Aussies, Yanks may think they're big drinkers – but Brits easily booze them under the table -

Isssh nothing to be proud of, hic, hic. Shame again pleesh

The top ten per cent of Australia’s boozy population downs more than half of the alcohol consumed in the country, according to new research – and the Brits are even worse.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 10:59:05 GMT)

Strong-willed field support op holds it together during painful customer call -

Are you... Are you sure that we make this machine, sir?

On Call Roll up, roll up, to the best part of your day, nay, your week – On Call, where Reg readers share Eureka moments and gleeful memories in tech support.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 09:58:07 GMT)

Hands off Brock! EFF pleads with Google not to kill its Privacy Badger with its Manifest destiny -

It's not hard, we just need some coding tweaks to make sure Privacy Badger stays sane

In an effort to discourage Google from breaking or hobbling content blocking and privacy Chrome Extensions, the Electronic Frontier Foundation on Wednesday presented the Chocolate Factory with a modest wish list [PDF] to guide the company's ongoing API revision.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 08:31:11 GMT)

Old-school cruel: Dodgy PDF email attachments enjoying a renaissance -

Let's go back... way back

The last few months have seen a big increase in malware attacks using PDF email attachments, according to security firm SonicWall.…

(Fri, 19 Apr 2019 07:06:03 GMT)

We've read the Mueller report. Here's what you need to know: ██ ██ ███ ███████ █████ ███ ██ █████ ████████ █████ -

Trump predicted he was 'fucked' – but he hadn't reckoned on ██████████

Analysis It's 448 pages of which roughly 50 have been blacked out.…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 23:43:24 GMT)

IBM Watson Health cuts back Drug Discovery 'artificial intelligence' after lackluster sales -

And seemingly uses machine learning to explain why it's kinda not but kinda is

IBM Watson Health is tapering off its Drug Discovery program, which uses "AI" software to help companies develop new pharmaceuticals, blaming poor sales.…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 23:07:10 GMT)

We reveal what's inside Microsoft's Azure Govt Secret regions... wait, is that a black helico– -

Redmond hopes to lure Uncle Sam's spy agencies, military away from Amazon

Microsoft has set up two new Azure cloud regions in the US – dubbed Azure Government Secret regions – to store data involving American national security. The services are in private preview, and are pending official government accreditation.…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 21:42:45 GMT)

Google rolls out Android Easter Egg for Europe – a Microsoft antitrust-style browser, search engine choice box -

Now how about we forget these fines, eh, mes amies? Meine Freunde? Mis amigos?

Android users across Europe are due a software update from Google today that will ask them to make a choice for the future of their smartphones and gadgets – which browser and search engine do you want to use?…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:56:37 GMT)

Idiot admits destroying scores of college PCs using USB Killer gizmo, filming himself doing it -

MBA grad faces hefty fine, jail time after zapping computer, display, equipment mobos

A former student at a $32,000-a-year private New York college pleaded guilty this week to destroying 66 computers on its campus.…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 19:07:13 GMT)

Who's using Mueller Report Day to bury bad news? If you guessed Facebook, you're right: Millions more passwords stored in plaintext -

Wham, bam, gee thanks, Instagram

While journalists and netizens are distracted digesting the redacted 400-plus-page Mueller report, released within the past few hours, today will be a good day for spin doctors to bury bad news.…

(Thu, 18 Apr 2019 18:23:51 GMT)