Twilight…

Just got back from seeing Twilight. I really should read up about the target audience before I see some of these films. If I had I would have known that this was a vampire movie for girls aged 10-14, or boys aged 10-14 who wished they were girls. I think it only fair to split this review into two parts.

10-14 Year Old Girl Review

The vampires can go out in the daylight, but they don’t unless it’s overcast because the sun makes them glitter like they are made out of diamonds, kinda like a fairy princess. The main vampire characters are so nice they don’t drink human blood, just animals they hunt in the forest. The vampires would never dream of turning someone into a vampire against their will, that wouldn’t be nice. All the vampires are quirky, yet adorable. The lead male is a dreamboat and deserving of an Oscar. He’s the best actor that ever lived. I’m going to cover all my bedroom walls with posters of him and write his name all over my pencil case and books at school.

Adult review

This film is total dirge. The acting is terrible. The plot sucks (no pun intended). It’s devoid of any redeemable features.

Please don’t go an see it unless you are a 10-14 year old girl!

Cheers

Tim…

PS. I’m sure it will do incredibly well at the box office and spawn a bunch of sequels and a TV series.

Author: Tim...

DBA, Developer, Author, Trainer.

13 thoughts on “Twilight…”

  1. Sir,
    The lead male is a dreamboat and deserving of an oscar. He’s the best actor that ever lived. I’m going to cover all my bedroom walls with posters of him and write his name all over my pencil case and books at school.
    LOL, I never heard such nice comments for vampires. That’s an awesome review from a kid.
    Regards
    Aman….

  2. this movie to me was great and so romatic and i thought it was weired how Edward fell in love with bella because Edward was a vampire and bella was a human well that was my thought and i dont kno just got done from reading the 2nd book and cant wait to see the 2nd movie well if they make one lol….i know they are

  3. Fact it is a Phenomenon, due to Stephanie Meyer.
    Hardwick is an incredibly gifted filmmaker yet missed the emotional intensity of “Twilight”. If you haven’t read the book how could you understand the passion and longing they have for each other. How they feel one could not live without each other and the physical pain each of them feels when apart? I do think there were lots of rushed moments and poorly shot scenes. I can only hope the studio steps up with “New Moon”. This is defiantly the book to make all the corrections in. We need to revisit Bella and Edward’s relationship and feel the passion. The movie “Twilight” unfortunately was a great disappointment unless your 10-14 year old girl!!

  4. Quote by Twilight Mom: “If you haven’t read the book how could you understand the passion and longing they have for each other.”

    I think you’ve added weight to my argument. The film should stand alone. I shouldn’t have to read a book before going to see a film. If there was meant to be passion and longing I should have seen it in the film, rather than bad acting that made everyone look like they were desperate for the toilet. 🙂

    If you look at a film like “Interview with the Vampire” you will see it stands on its own merrits very well. I prefer the story in the Anne Rice novel, but the film is still a great piece of work. Twilight in comparison was complete garbage. Just my opinion. 🙂

    Cheers

    Tim…

  5. Tragically I went and saw it with a group of 10 teenage girls (the volleyball team). It was bad enough sitting through it without the subsequent fawning and drooling over the lead character in the team bus on the way home!

    🙂

  6. I made the same mistake. I took my son (age 14) to see the film. I realized we might have made a mistake when I saw we were half the male audience in the crowded movie theater. The theater smelled like strawberry shortcake and my little pony.

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