What did you call me?


On Saturdays I finish yoga and go to my mates local pub for a crafty diet coke before going home. Some of the guys in the pub have got to know me a little from my visits. Now, whenever I go in they ask me what countries I have visited recently and then generally take the p*ss out of me, saying either that I must be rich because of all the travelling I do, or I’m a layabout who doesn’t have a real job…

Last Saturday I went in and we had the usual bit of banter. I then sat down and soon after a lady came up to me and said she had overheard the guys talking and was interested to know what I actually did. Apparently they had said I was a lecturer and I was the 30th best in the world???

The lecturer bit is maybe understandable. Presenter, teacher, lecturer is all the same ball park to me. What I don’t understand is the 30th best in the world bit. I can’t think of anything I’ve ever said that can be interpreted that way. I’ve never spoken to them directly about what I do and I can’t think of anything I’ve ever said that could be interpreted as a “world ranking”. Anyway,  I explained to the lady in question I was in I.T., at which point she made a sharp exit. Nothing new there…

The moral of this story is, if someone asks you what you do, answer with a job title they understand like brick layer or electrician. It does nobody any good if you tell the truth, because they will only misunderstand, make something up and then exaggerate a bit on top of that. Next time someone asks I’m going to say I’m the 26th best gynaecologist in the world and see what comes back to me. Probably a washed up DBA with delusions of grandeur… 🙂



Author: Tim...

DBA, Developer, Author, Trainer.

6 thoughts on “What did you call me?”

  1. If you took Steven Feuerstein’s PL/SQL Challenge every day, you’d get a ranking that you can boast about in the pub….but only if it is a very geeky pub.

    There are about 100 ACE Directors. There are about 65 ACEs in Database App Development including about 20 ACE directors (including you). So I think you could justifiably argue ‘top 30’ status.

    But to dent your ego, I still think Jonathan Lewis got the best deal with his status as an Alien with Extraordinary Ability

    Now that would get real pub cred.

  2. Not sure if the guys in the pub would care about the PL/SQL Challenge or the ACE Program, especially when they can make stuff up to tell people… 🙂



  3. Know the feeling. I once got a friend of mine a T-shirt with this written on it:
    “I’m not a gynaecologist
    but I’ll have a look…”

  4. I completely agree with all what you said sir. That’s why most of the times, I just say I am searching job and enjoy the free advices coming to tell me what I should with my degree in computers 🙂 .

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